


Starting over - Out

by Morisa



Series: Love, Victor Season 2 [1]
Category: Love Victor (TV 2020)
Genre: Coming Out, Developing Relationship, Gay, Gay Male Character, Love, M/M, Parenthood, Season/Series 10, Teenage Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:40:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25448503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morisa/pseuds/Morisa
Summary: Scene 1-1 This is the scene after the 10th episode of season 1 of Love, Victor.He just came out to this parents and sister after coming home early from the school dance. Narrating from his own perspective how the talk with his parents about his coming out will be and what is going on in his life.
Relationships: Benjamin "Benji" Campbell/Victor Salazar
Series: Love, Victor Season 2 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1843240
Kudos: 31





	Starting over - Out

I can’t believe what I just did… Did I just tell my parents that I am… GAY?! I stare at their faces while I am standing here in the living room. Pilar on the armchair, my parents on the couch. I am not sure what I am expecting to happen next. Maybe they will be shocked? Or what if they start crying? Did I just do the biggest mistake in my life?

No! I think this is right. Too long I was hiding, too long waiting to be who I avoided to be. This should be my coming out and there was nothing to stop me anymore. It’s too late for that anyway. On Monday in school everyone will most likely know. What is Benji doing right now? How will Mia be after this? Is Felix still on the dance? What will Andrew do? I have hundreds of thoughts and questions… but so does my family now.

Pilar is the first to say anything. “Wait, what are you talking about?”. She looks at me like I just did some stand-up comedy joke that she didn’t understand  
I can’t blame her to disbelieve me. After all I was now in a relationship with Mia for quite a while. Even had her over for my birthday party. I don’t want to answer her yet, I want to wait for my parents reaction.

My mother seems now fairly shocked, as if she woke up from a bad dream… Oh god… This is torture. It feels like time has frozen. But then… finally:  
“Oh, cariño!” she stands up and gets over to me. She hugs me. “What happened?”  
My dad, still sitting on the couch, is going with his hands through his hair, as he usually does in stressful situations. He isn’t ready for this I think. Not after the decision of both of them separating for a while.

While I am hugging my mom back, I feel my eyes tearing up. I usually don’t cry in front of my family, but at this point I really couldn’t care less. This is the moment I was waiting for and I knew it would get emotional.

Pilar standing up now as well, throwing her dark wavy hair back and getting over as well. She seems like she forgot the anger on our parents. I never seen her like that before. Not even when she and her boyfriend broke up. She looks like she saw a ghost

Now my dad stands up as well. “Ayayay…”, he mumbles under his breath while coming over for a family hug. We didn’t have a family hug anymore since we moved away from Texas… It kinda feels right, but I am afraid of what will happen next. Will we have a long talk about this? It’s already quite late and Adrian is already sleeping. Should he know about this as well?

We just stood there and it feels like hours have passed. Then the hug ends. I am still in tears and only now I see that everyone, even my usually so tough sister, have tears in their eyes. I am not sure if these are tears of happiness or something else, but it is great that I am not the only one.

Suddenly Adrian stands behind us in the corridor. “What is going on?” he asks while in his pyjama, looking like he just fell out of bed rubbing his eyes. He most likely is referring to all of us tearing up in the middle of the living room hugging each other. What a bizarre sight this must be for him.

I am not sure if Adrian is ready to know what is going on already. He is still so young and most likely will not understand what is going on.  
On the other hand he is quite smart for his age and to be fair, from all of the family members I always thought that he would be the one, that wouldn’t have an issue with me being gay. Okay, I guess Pilar either. She doesn’t care mostly, or at least she pretends.

Mom is approaching him, wiping away a tear running down her cheek. “Everything is fine, mijo. Want me to bring you to bed again?” she asks.

Adrian seems confused, but at the end he just nods. Guess he is too tired to actually care much. Pilar goes over to him. “I will bring you to bed, little one. Mami and Papi have some stuff to talk about with your brother I think”, she said while quickly giving me a glance from the side, indicating that she of course wants all the details later on.

While Adrian and Pilar are going down the corridor to Adrian’s room, Dad goes to the kitchen to get a glass of water, while mom and I are sitting down on the couch.

I am not sure where to start. Should I let them ask questions? Or rather explain them the situation I am? Tell them about Benji? Possibly start with Mia and our relationship? How does this work…? I wish Simon could tell me now what to say or maybe have a dolmetscher for coming outs? What would I give for not having to deal with this shit... but here I am.

Dad comes back to the living room and sits down next to me in the armchair where Pilar set before. He grabs my shoulder quickly like he always did after a great basketball game to show that he is proud of me and just said: “Well then…”. Mom gives him a quick death stare for that unnecessary start of the conversation.

“Okay, so what happened tonight to make this… revelation to us?”, Mom asks while getting a bit more comfortable on the couch.

“I am actually not sure where to start”, I respond: “I wanted to do this before tonight already, but because of the Spring Fling I didn’t want to cancel on Mia. But then some stuff happened between Benji and Derek that they broke up. You know, the gay couple that was here for my birthday, remember? And I kinda fell in love with Benji already some time ago and they broke up… and then Benji talked with me and we kissed and Mia saw us and Pilar was figuring some stuff out and everything became a huge mess at the end…” I realized only now that my voice breaks. I was not prepared for this. I don’t even know what I am thinking right now.

“Mijo… You know we will always love you. No matter who you are, who you love or what you believe! Never be ashamed who you are...” Dad starts, but he can’t finish his sentence. His voice seems to break as well. I have never seen him like this. He clearly is overwhelmed with the situation.

“So, since when are you… you know... gay? I mean, you were in a relationship with Mia now for the past months. You invited her over for your birthday as well.” Mom seems still a bit confused, but at least I realize that both don’t seem to have an issue with me. I really thought we might go all religious now, praying to god, asking for guidance for them, but they are the same cool parents that I admire so much. Even if they have their own issues.

“I think I know it already since we were still living in Texas, but it’s really hard to tell… I always felt a bit different, but finding out what it is only occurred to me recently. Getting to know Benji made me realize this more, but at the same time I was thinking... I was liking Mia as well. She is kind, beautiful and I really felt something for her. But I kept on thinking about Benji as well, which made me realize that I am not… in fact straight or in love with Mia. I feel really bad for her now since she feels betrayed by me, as I couldn’t even explain her the situation properly. I am not even sure what I should say to her.”

I feel more and more comfortable talking now with my parents about it. My parents are not making a fuss of it… And I have to think about all other people out there having issues with their parents about this topic. I remember Justin, Simon’s and Bram’s roommate, who has lived a lie with his parents cause they tried to keep the cover for their conservative neighbourhood and lifestyle. I can only be happy to have mine at the moment… even after what they went through recently.

“So, Mijo… Then you are now together with this Benji?” dad asks me, pulling me out of my thoughts. And now I have no clue what to answer. This is such a typical dad question. Directly to the point about what is now the status quo.

“I- I have no clue to be fair. We kissed and Mia saw us, then Mia was leaving after asking me if our relationship was even real and I wanted to talk to her, but she didn’t want to anymore and then Pilar came around asking me about a note that I still had for Benji… She didn’t know it was a note for him, so she assumed I had an affair with a girl I guess, and that is where I left to come home with Pilar. I should speak with Benji again… but Monday at school I don’t know what will happen. I am kinda scared of my coming out so I am glad that I finally could say it to you guys.”

“Awww cariño… You don’t have to be scared. It can be frightening, but we will support you no matter what. We were not always a perfect family and I think we have to apologize that we didn’t give you the environment to be yourself! We really want you to know that we love you. If you need help with anything, we will be there, even if we are separating for a while.” Mom glances over to dad to tell him to jump on the topic as well.

“Your mother is absolutely right. We don’t know much about having a gay son, but we will try our best. It might take some time for us to get used to the whole topic, but nevertheless, we will always support each other. Remember when your grandparents came over for your birthday? I was so proud of you that you stood up for your friends… And I am even more proud of you now that you feel comfortable telling us. Lately you were a bit off, but we thought it was because of our issues or maybe issues with Mia or even stress in school. Kinda glad that at the end it wasn’t anything like that… well maybe issues with Mia....” He smiles with the last sentence for some odd reason. I guess it’s a weird adult joke that I am not getting.

Suddenly I feel very tired and feel like yawning. It is already quite late, almost midnight… Time really flies when you have deep conversations. I kinda day dream how much I would like to have Benji over now to lay in bed with… How would that feel? Certainly better than in the Motel… He most likely left already some messages on my phone. Or what about Felix… is he still at the dance?

Mom realizes that my thoughts are drifting away and asks: “Maybe we should continue our talk tomorrow so you can get some sleep. Then you can talk tomorrow to Adrian and Pilar”. She smiles while brushing a streak of hair out of her face.

“Yeah, I think Pilar should know about this as well. She is most likely still shocked about what happened. You think Adrian should know as well?” I ask while getting ready to stand up.

Dad answers after exchanging a look with mom: “We leave it up to you. It’s not up to us really and Adrian should be absolutely fine with it. He might not get it at first but he saw Benji and… what was his name? Darek? At your birthday already… We shouldn’t make this a secret topic after all. After all, we are proud of you, don’t forget that!”

“Yes, and if you ever need someone to talk to, we are here for you… God, we repeat ourselves now… hahaha”, mom starts laughing. It sounds a bit nervous, but to be fair, it is kinda funny how they literally are just proud of me… No hard feelings, no regrets. Maybe it’s as well because they had some wine previously when they were talking about their separation.

“We sound like a broken vinyl record…”, dad says and starts chuckling. I roll my eyes at them both but I can’t keep a serious face and smile with them while now finally standing up. I can’t believe I have such parents. My mom quickly stands up to give me a good night kiss on my cheek, while my dad pats me on my back.

“Good night, amor…”, mom says and I leave the living room looking back at them.

“Good night you two… And thank you. I love you both a million.”, I answer and smile at them while turning around heading to my room… I don’t think I will check my phone yet, it would only stress me out to have to see all the messages from all the people that might ask why I am not at the dance… Even though I really want to message Benji… my “boyfriend”? It’s weird to think that at the moment, but it’s the only thing I can really think of until I reach my room.

While I get ready for bed, I am only thinking about the kiss with Benji and how much I miss him right now. Or how much I missed to have him all the time I couldn’t be with him. Feeling happy and sad at the same time I get to bed and quickly fall asleep, hoping that from tomorrow on I can be the Victor I want to be.


End file.
